It's a Peanut!

Since i'm lazy and uncreative I'm just going to steal Amanda's name for my baby...Peanut! Today i went for my early ultrasound. It didn't take too long for them to locate little Peanut and even though it's tiny, they were able to visualize (no sound) the heartbeat! I'm now being released to see an OB, so i have to make my appointment to go see them in a couple weeks. I'm trying to figure out how to get another ultrasound so that i can hear the heartbeat at least. I guess i'll just ask and see what they say.

On the September babyboard there are two other girls that were on low-dose Clomid like me and just had their ultrasounds....one is having triplets and the other twins!! I'm soooo glad i didn't come across those posts until *after* my ultrasound! I went ahead and ordered a fetal doppler from Amazon (even though i know it's too early to use yet) because it said "only 1 left in stock...order soon!" I ordered the same one as Jenny but the picture that shows up on my "completed order" page is a totally different thing than what is on the product page. I hope they send me the right thing because the *incorrect* picture is just a glorified microphone--you sit it on your belly with headphones...there's no doppler to it. It should come on Monday so i guess we'll find out then.

Oh! It's also worth mentioning that my doctor and i disagree about my due date. With all the dang charting i did i *know* when i ovulated and by my calculations my due date is September 17. My doctor estimated me at September 12. So i guess sometime that week i'll be having a baby!

Boobs and Body Pillows

For the first time in my life i have real cleavage!! It's so exciting! I'm sure i'll be eating crow in a few months when they're ginormous, but as someone who's always had small boobs and had to use a pushup bra, this is fascinating stuff. Coincidentally, i now have a new problem. I wake up every single night (in addition to pee breaks! geez) because my arms or hands are numb and tingly as if they've fallen asleep. This appears to be a common phenomenon according to others on the babyboard, but the only reason i can think of for it happening so early is because my boobs are sooo sore that i sleep on top of my arms to keep my boobs from getting squished into the bed. I'm thinking about getting a body pillow to see if that might help. Any experiences or suggestions to share?

Sleep Does A Body Good

What a difference sleep makes! I worked all weekend and wasn't getting nearly enough sleep when i wrote my last post. (And by the way, getting up to pee in the middle of the night when it's cold and you're exhausted *sucks*) I'm feeling much, much better now that i've had 2 good nights of sleep and naps in-between. Well, emotionally anyway. I've been having the occasional nausea attack. Not nearly enough to throw up, but i don't like the queasy feeling. The next few weeks ought to be fun!

5 Weeks

Stealing another great idea from Jenny! A weekly pregnancy questionnaire:

How far along? 5 weeks 2 days
Pregnancy Symptoms: sore boobs, cramps, bone-crushing exhaustion, stuffy nose
Sleep: I'm tired all the time and all i want to do is sleep, but when i finally go to bed for the night i wake up several times throughout the night before finally giving up after 5-6 hours
Best moment this week: finding out my hCG is still rising like normal
Movement: cramps and pains that freak me out
Food cravings: cheese danish! I sent jake to 3 different krogers in search of them one day...they are so freaking yummy
Gender: it feels like a girl this week
What I miss: not worrying about things that never crossed my mind before, like Diet Coke.
What I am looking forward to: my ultrasound next Thursday
My best kept secret this week: is definitely not my pregnancy. Too many people know!

I feel like i should be exuberant and excited and bouncy now that i'm finally pregnant. Instead i feel exhausted and terrified and depressed. And i feel *guilty* for feeling that way. I wish i could be naive and not worry, but it's been a long road so far. I've had it much easier than many, mind you. It only took 10 months and two rounds of Clomid, it could have been a lot worse, but i *was* naive about the ease of getting pregnant. I never in my wildest dreams imagined such a long journey and it's made me very.....cynical i guess. I don't want to let myself get excited or hopeful yet. It's still very early and too much can happen. I tried to join a babyboard to see what was going on with other girls due in September and try to get more excited but instead it's freaking me out too much with all the "I'm spotting!" posts (and worse) so i've mostly stopped visiting. I find myself "talking me down" if i start getting too excited. How crazy is that?? It's just that i know if i told a bunch of people (work, facebook, etc) and talked about it openly and then something happened.....i'd be absolutely crushed. It's easier to just go about business as usual and pretend nothing has changed. (And GB you have no idea how awful i feel when i think how i kept asking when you'd get pregnant last Christmas. You should have slapped me!) Hmm....maybe i should add hormones to my symptoms list.....

Swine Flu

Ok ok, i did it. I got the vaccine. That was one of the questions i asked my doctor about and he said i should "Absolutely get it right away" There is speculation that the swine flu may peak again in the spring (last April/May was the beginning of the epidemic) and since i have the extra concern of workplace exposure i figured i might as well start working on that immunity. I told Jake he has to get one too...he's thrilled.

I think i may actually have some immunity from work and here's why: Every time a new person starts at the pharmacy they're sick *all* the time. Which is obvious, since all we do is hang out around the sicklies. However, once you've worked there for a few months.....you rarely ever get sick. It's like magic! I'm still beyond boggled by how not a single one of us in the pharmacy has gotten the flu this year (or usually any year), especially since we've been dealing with two different kinds. In fact the only time i got sick this year was when Jake got sick and gave it to me. He's such a butthead.

Totally random question: On the babyboards people were talking about toxoplasmosis and cats. Apparently if you've owned cats awhile there's a good chance you've had it before and are immune, and that you can be tested by your OB for that immunity or infection. If currently infected you can be treated with antibiotics. I don't have anything to do with the litter anymore, but is the testing something y'all did?

I Just Want An Ultrasound!

At today's doctor appointment i didn't get an ultrasound. I was pretty disappointed. He did an exam and said "You're definitely pregnant" and then i asked him a bunch of questions about things like how much caffeine i can have, if i'm allowed to highlight my hair, are the prenatal vitamins i'm taking good enough, will Diet Coke kill my baby. You know, the usual. I haven't had the sharp pains in a couple days now, so i'm starting to calm down a little. Dr. Stephens thinks it's just round ligament pains, but i was surprised since i read those usually don't start until second trimester. Blood levels were good today!
hCG=3635 Doubling time~42 hours

I'm glad the doubling time slowed down, when it was so fast last week i was worried it meant multiples! I guess it still could be, though. So here's the new plan: I have an ultrasound next Thursday. I'll be 5w6d or 6w0d. The nurse tried to get me to wait until the following week so that i wouldn't be scared if they don't find a heartbeat next week. She said their ultrasound is old school, like from the 70s, that's it's not hi-tech 3D kind or anything. The thing is, though, i read that you can see the heartbeat around the time your hCG hits 6,000. Well that will be by tomorrow morning for me. So if i'm not even going for an ultrasound for almost a week after that, i should definitely be able to see something. And if they *don't* see a heartbeat next week i'll know that it's still early, and they'll just do another one the next week. It sounds like a good plan to me, but i'm sure i will worry a little if i don't hear it next week. But waiting stresses me out too! Right now i just want to confirm that everything is in the right place and where it should be. Do you think it's a mistake to get the ultrasound next week?

On a side note...when can the home fetal doppler pick up the heartbeat and what brands are good?

Nervous

I've made it a whole week and a half! Nine months is going to be a looooong time...

I'm still freaking out about everything so i have an appointment in the morning with my doctor. I've been having cramping this whole time, which can be normal, but i've also developed some sharp shooting pains that radiate from my right lower abdomen to my thigh. They're quick, but they're sharp enough to take my breath away. I took my last hCG test today so those results should be available tomorrow as well. I'm taking Jake with me to my appointment in the hopes that they're going to do an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok. It makes me nervous that i don't really have many pregnancy symptoms. Right now sore boobs is about it.

The past couple days i've been tired and kind of blue feeling. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that i could *not* put down my book (The Host by Stephenie Meyer....so good!!) and therefore got very little sleep and then worked all day for 2 days in a row. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones too, who knows. Today was my day off so i could have slept in but instead i woke up after 5-6 hours and couldn't get back to sleep. Blah.