Bye-Bye Barret

Today all of the pharmacy peeps went to the mexican restaurant after Barret's last day at the pharmacy. He's moving on to bigger and better places but he's leaving behind some pretty devastated customers. Mostly the cougar kind. Anyhow, one of my coworkers has 3 kids and they came along. Her 18 month old son Thomas was sitting next to Barret and we were all getting him to "high-five" and clap and stuff (the baby not Barret). So Barret hands the baby his cell phone and tells him to throw it. Thomas looks at him a fraction of a second, smiles, and launches it across the table......right into the bowl of salsa sitting in front of Jake. Barret's phone had salsa all over it and Jake had salsa all over him. It was hysterical! Other than Barret corrupting the baby all three of her kids were *so* well behaved. I'm definitely going to have learn her secret if i ever have a kid.

Small Talk

Tonight on our walk we were discussing my stolen peach blog.

Jake: "That's humor for little kids or old women"

Me: "I am an old women. And i thought it was funny!"

Jake: "You're just a couple years away from wearing ugly holiday sweaters"

Me: "That's not nice!"

Jake: "At least you're not a skank"

Me: "What?!"

Jake: "You [Women with ugly holiday sweaters] are a socially accepted positive role model"

Gee, thanks babe!

Neighbors and a Broken Jumper

I met another neighbor today! She lives in the easter egg house near Jenn. She was so nice! She was out walking her dog. Actually her boyfriend's dog. And i also learned that my other new neighbor across the street is engaged. So i'm not sure if it's just her house or if her and her fiance bought it together. I've been stalking the property records but so far it still has the old owners' names on it. Kristie couldn't give me any info either.

Lately Dala has been kinda sickly acting. She's lost weight (about a pound) but we think that's because she goes outside all the time now and therefore gets more exercise. It's weird because she eats like 20 "snacks" a day in addition to her usual breakfast and dinner. She also seems slightly more lethargic...although she's had enough energy to continuously knock things off my computer desk and she brought Jake a mole yestrday. Mostly though she won't jump at all. When she gets up on things like the bed/couch/cat post she uses her front legs to pull herself up and kinda climbs. She's had breakdowns in her jumper (that's her back legs) before but it usually only lasted a few days and then she was fine. We asked the vet about it one of those times and they x-rayed her and stuff. They said it was most likely arthritis. I thought they were crazy because at the time she was only 7 or 8 years old. So anyway I started researching this supplement called Cosequin for Cats. It was recommended for Patches ages ago and Susan now uses it for Fraidy and says its worked wonders. It's a supplement that's like Osteo Bi-Flex for people. During my research i discovered that it also helps the type of urinary blockages that Anakin keeps getting. So i ordered it from Amazon for $14 because the vet was going to charge me $40! (Amazon Prime is the best investment i've ever made) I hope it fixes her jumper. I've also just discovered that their flea medicine is tons cheaper on Amazon too.

I got Ally a present! I'm way too impatient to wait for it to be a surprise so she's already seen a picture of it. Cat not included!

I'm Not Emo!

So today Jake and John went to see the new Transformers movie. I was whining and bitching because I was stuck at work and want to see the movie as well. I haven't seen the first one yet (although i've heard it's good) but I was mostly irritated that I had to work and they got to play. Did they really *have* to see it on opening day? Nevermind that Jake offered to see it a second time. It's ridiculous to pay $10 per ticket to see a movie you've already seen before. Anyway, after much grumping I came home to this....





I guess it served it's purpose because it made me smile.

My Green Thumb Fell Off

*sigh* Ok so remember how i was all excited that my grasses and flowers and veggies and trees were growing? Well....my thumb was green but then it fell off. My grass is now more brown than green, the bunnies ate my veggies and they were in a too-shady spot so they didn't really grow well anyway, Ned the Nut-Biter stole my peaches......and now i think i just killed my favorite tree!

My prized Pink Dogwood tree has had these brown crumbly leaves for awhile now. At first i thought it was a sunlight issue, then i thought maybe a watering problem. Well my mom sent me to this Walter Reeves website for this guy in Georgia that's like the Clark Howard of gardening and landscaping. Anyway, i soon discovered that my tree has this problem called Dogwood Blight. It's basically a fungus and it said that the affected leaves produce all these spores that make it spread and that you have to get rid of the leaves pronto. So i did! I cut every single leaf off the tree today because every one of them was affected. In the meantime my mom had me email a picture of it to Walter Reeves because he asks for pics so that he can help to illustrate problems. He's a busy guy so i wasn't really expecting much of a response anytime soon.

But i just got an email back:
"If it was planted in the last few months I'd suspect slow root establishment more that a disease. Crisp leaf edges show water stress."

Yep my prized Pink Dogwood is no more than a giant naked twig. And it's all my fault. :( To make it worse i "pruned" my rosebushes a bunch because they had funky leaves too. Pruning supposedly makes them grow more but we shall see.

RIP

My flourishing peaches are no more. I was visiting my little tree today and all of my peaches have vanished. While there is no evidence in or around the base of the tree we are working on the assumption that they have been murdered. We have a few suspects we'd like to question but they have eluded capture and are being considered very dangerous. We have placed two of our best hunters on the case. The following are pictures of two of the suspects the police would like to question. Using the latest in progression technology we have also included what the peach may look like if it is indeed still alive.

Suspects

Timmy Two-Caws

Ned the Nut-Biter

Age-Progressed Peach

Deadly Frisbee

Ok so i know i get bruised super easy and stuff but this is just ridiculous. I showed you a couple weeks ago (June 8th if you want to see the pic) about my bruised hand following a relatively mild game of frisbee. Well we played again last night when everyone was over for Father's Day.....and guess what happened to the *other* hand in the exact same spot?! Not nearly as bad but still...do i have some kind of bleeding/bruising disorder? I can't remember a time when i didn't have multiple bruises all over me. Mostly my legs, but i bruise super easy.

The Apocalypse

So i know there's a bunch of signs that signal the beginning of the end. At least that's what people tell me. Specifically my dad. Whenever Obama does...well pretty much anything; whenever there's a hurricane; whenever a leaf falls off a tree. Yeah i'm pretty sure my dad's told me those are all signs that we don't have much longer to live. He says its says so right there in Revelation. He also told me that the plastic things that attach tags to clothes are called Knicklepoppers. And that the Beach Boys are really singing "Doodlelove" and not "Good Lovin'" That i'm actually a Bat Kid that watches over the frog people. But i digress...

I haven't paid much attention to my dad's insistence that the apocalypse is near. I mean would God really end the world before Clark Kent learns to fly? With Izzie and George hanging in the balance? Before the release of Directv HD Tivo?! Methinks not. But i have found three signs of impending doom:

1) My 9 year old sister now has her very own cell phone. And she likes to talk. A lot.

2) It's raining frogs and i'm pretty sure that's one of those plague things. On our walk last night Jake had to shoo at least 5 frogs off the road.

3) Jenn isn't totally against the idea of babysitting. When I jokingly mentioned that Ally might need a babysitter sometime I was fully expecting a tirade. Instead i got a resume and a speech about her super-awesome-babysittingness skills. She didn't even use the word spawn! I was waiting for lightning to strike me dead at that moment but it hasn't happened yet. So i went and took a picture of the frog. Beware the face of the Apocalypse.

New Camera and Failed Scare-Bunnies

So i got my new camera just in time to bring to you....the failure of scare-bunnies. The green beans were the only veggie doing well (probably because i planted the garden in a too-shady spot) and the dang scare-bunnies totally did NOT scare off the real bunnies. Here is the resulting carnage of topless green beans. I have decided that Dala will now be the guardian of the garden. She'll just have to sit there until my veggies grow. Also included is a picture of a peach on my baby peach tree. Surprisingly the squirrels and birds haven't discovered it yet.

The Secret Life of Dala the Pittypat

Helping mommy with laundry.


Hunting bunny rabbits bigger than her.

She was crouched down and her tail was flicking back and forth like crazy. Roger Rabbit has lived in our yard for quite some time and usually doesn't run until you get pretty close but I was still shocked that he let both Dala and I get so near. We were only about 10 feet away! Although she thought long and hard about it Dala never did attempt to pounce. It wouldn't have ended well for her...Roger is pretty darn hefty.

**NO BUNNIES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS SLIDESHOW**

Fail
After a hard day of "hunting" for dinner it's time to relax.

Wedding Bells

Can i get married again? I recently went to Kellye's bridal shower and then a couple days ago i went and watched Brittany try on wedding gowns. It's making me remember how fun and exciting it was! Plus you get all kinds of new things for your house. Which is tons more fun than having to actually go shopping and buy it with your own money. Too bad i'm already married and love the house i'm in now.

Brittany (my brother's fiancee) is going to make such a beautiful bride! This is the dress she fell in love with. They're thinking about doing a beach wedding in St. Augustine which would be perfect! She says they're not going to get married until probably 2011 but i can't imagine she'll be able to wait that long. I'm pushing for Summer 2010.

We have new neighbors! They just got the house yesterday but so far all i've seen is their cars. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. One of the cars had a spoiler and the other was a smaller car like mine (from what i could tell) so maybe they'll be near our age. It would be nice to make new friends!

My So-Called Life

Not posting in almost a week has it's consequences. So much to say!

1) Overheard at work: [Tech calling a customer] "Mr. Wright!" Customer walks up and says "Sometimes"

2) Apparently even with 4+ signs to help me i *still* couldn't figure out the whole ovulation stuff correctly. Overall cycle length was shorter (32 days vs 41 last month) but the luteal phase is much too short again. Which basically means that even if i were to get pregnant it wouldn't have time to implant.

3) I got my hair cut! I originally wasn't going to get it highlighted until right before i'd be pregnant. That way the 3 months i'd have to wait before i could do it again would be perfect timing. Funny how that just didn't happen how i'd planned it.

4) I shouldn't have ever grown my hair out. Following my rant from earlier this week i re-read my very first post (from March) in which i was complaining about the same thing. Ally must have had a good idea because i mentioned it both times!

March: "Although my hair wasn't super long to begin with, i'm used to it being shoulder length so it was driving me bonkers. I almost went the route Ally took and did it myself."

June: "My hair is driving me completely nuts and i want to get it cut! I don't know why i agreed to grow it out. I hate it! I've actually considered going the Ally route and cutting it myself but i'm pretty clumsy so i'd most likely end up with a shaved head...or scissors in the brain."

5) I bought a new camera! Every single place is out of stock except Kodak so i'm a little worried they're gonna send me an email and say it's backordered. I'm so excited though! The last straw was when i high-tailed it outside to take pictures of Dala contemplating chasing a rabbit bigger than her. Amazingly i was able to get within 10 feet of the bunny before it bolted but my camera only has 3x optical zoom so the pics suuuuuuck. The new camera has 10x optical and 5x digital zoom and i CAN'T WAIT! It's another Kodak EasyShare but they were running a special so i got $30 off plus a free 2GB memory card. It was an offer i couldn't refuse.

6) My conversation with Jenn after leaving Olive Garden today

Lauren: "Want a piece of gum?"

Jenn: "For as long as you've known me i've never said yes"

Lauren: "I figure one day you'll give in"

Jenn: "I'm about as likely to chew gum as get married and have a baby"

Lauren: "You don't have to have a baby if you get married"

Jenn: "I think i'd get married before i chew gum"

7) Jenn is still having problems with her kitties being bad and peeing on her new floor. So after Olive Garden we went to Target and i hooked her up with a plain old litter box and the cheapest non-clump litter we could find. We took it home and Toka was immediately interested. As Jenn was pouring the litter into the box he practically pushed her out of the way to get in there and immediately went potty. China did too. Maybe this will work for Toka and China!

Sunburns and Bruises

Sunday was a very fun, eventful and rather painful day. I had to get up early to meet Kristie for Renaissance Festival. I had gone through my closet and found the only pair of shorts i own: butt-hugging jean shorts that are way too short and show way more of my pasty-white-never-seen-the-sun legs than i'm comfortable with. Therefore i got up extra early, sped over to Kohl's and picked out a lightweight sundress since it was entirely too hot for jeans. It was a fun day (i especially liked Ded Bob) but things are much more over-priced than i remember! This picture was taken toward the end of the day when we were hot as hell and sweaty:

Kristie wanted to stay for the Tortuga Twins rated R show. It was over an hour long and since i was crammed in a crowd full of hot, sweaty people and the sun was directly on me i got burned pretty bad. Plus the performers were drunk, vulgar, and very not-funny. Kristie loved it, but i wouldn't ever watch it again.

On the way home i found out that my family had planned an impromptu get-together....at my house. In fact, they were already there and had been for and hour and a half! I came home and they had picked up some Williamson Brothers BBQ so we ate and then all went outside to enjoy some frisbee games.

Grandmom and Teddy watched from the sidelines.

And this is what happens when my awesome frisbee skills land the disc in the sewer. Twice. Jeff had to take the cover off and dangle down far enough to grab it. Brittany (his fiancee) was trying to keep him from falling down it head-first.

It was a really fun day and i loved playing frisbee with the fam, although i did manage to bruise my hand pretty good (still don't know how.) Finally we had a late-night girls' night at IHOP which was yum and satisfied my sweet craving.

Things I Miss About Birth Control Pills

If you're ever debating on taking the pill or not (and you're not wanting a baby in the near future, obviously) then my advice to you is TAKE THEM! Here are just a few reasons why i miss The Pill:

1) No acne. I thought i had just grown out of it but i was sorely mistaken. Literally.

2) Bigger boobs. Nope i didn't grow those on my own either. It's not like it was a big difference, but it's noticeable to me now that it's missing.

3) Skinnier. I swear they're magic. I'm definitely better able to maintain a lower weight on the pill while still chowing down on dessert. Again not a huge difference, but at least 5 pounds.

4) A freakin' regular schedule. I could plan and organize and time everything 'cuz i knew exactly when the beginning and ending of my cycle would be at any time of any year. I know it sounds ridiculous but i've planned many a vacation and doctor appointment around this knowledge. I'm big on the planning ahead and this not-knowing is driving me crazy.

5) An overall better complexion.

The only drawback of the pill that comes to mind is having to take a pill every day. But since i'm now taking a multivitamin every day it's really not a difference.

Tea Party

Today i went to my very first tea party. I was attending Kellye's (my tech) bridal shower at Tea Leaves & Thyme. It was very neat! You get to get all dressed up and they have all kinds of different hats that you can wear. We had lemon souffle tea which was VERY yummy and a "tea tray" that consisted of fruit, scones, bite-sized sandwiches, and bite-sized desserts. The scones were AWESOME. They're more or less biscuits but they had lemon curd and amaretto cream that you could put on them and that just made them fantastic. I ate every bit of the lemon curd. The sandwiches were ok....there were lots that i didn't like (turkey avocado, cucumber, pear chutney) but the desserts were OMG amazing. There was red-velvet cake, lemon squares, a chocolate mint cake thing, and an apricot tart thing. I think if i go there again i'd like to do the actual lunch menu (you can get sandwiches and soup and stuff and i'd probably get the chicken salad sandwich) but it was a very neat experience!

New Show Reviews

Royal Pains: loooooved it! It's got the same feel as Psych and Burn Notice, both of which i love, and i think it's got great potential. Very much like Psych there's some drama but plenty of comic relief too. It's about a doctor who gets black listed at his hot-shot hospital because a wealthy board member dies on his watch. He goes to the Hamptons with his brother and quickly becomes the go-to guy for all the rich people's medical emergencies. It doesn't show all the blood and gore like in Grey's and ER, so that makes me happy. In fact one of the "emergencies" involved a flat tire....rich girl's saline implant popped. I'm really starting to like these cable shows that debut in Summer a lot better than the stuff that starts off the big Fall season. Grey's Anatomy and The OC were both summer shows to begin with....(Ally it will re-run a gajillion times if you didn't record it so go set it up now!)

The Listener: 2 episodes aired last night and i've only watched the first one but so far i like it. I liked Royal Pains better but mostly because i enjoy the light-heartedness of shows like Royal Pains and Psych. The Listener had a more serious drama undertone but the main actor is HOT so that makes up for it. Toby is a telepath but he hides it so nobody knows. The pilot episode has him helping a woman escape a car crash only for her to lie to the police about witnessing a murder and the subsequent kidnapping of her son. So he uses his gift to help her out. Can't wait to watch the next one. (Ally be on the lookout for a preview of Merlin...i think it's a show you'll like)

Mental had it's second episode this week but i haven't watched it yet. I liked Royal Pains and The Listener much better.

Bad Hair Day

My hair is driving me completely nuts and i want to get it cut! I don't know why i agreed to grow it out. I hate it! Unfortunatley my stylist is out of town until next weekend. Boo and hiss. I don't know how Jenn does it. Having long hair during summer annoys the bejesus out of me. I've actually considered going the Ally route and cutting it myself but i'm pretty clumsy so i'd most likely end up with a shaved head...or scissors in the brain. Either way i can't wait 'til my appointment next Saturday! Anyone else getting a summer hair cut?

I'll go ahead and answer since i know you're gonna ask: I go see the same stylist and have for quite some time. She does the best cut and color (IMO). Once when she was unavailable i let someone else do my hair and completely regretted it. Therefore i shall (most likely) wait.

Super-Jake

His superpower of choice? To see into the future.

His actual superpower? a green thumb (this is his herb garden gone crazy)


While he may not really have any superpowers he was still a pretty great husband yesterday. I had worked all weekend long, and as usual i didn't get hardly any sleep since i had to open at 8am and am unable to go to bed at a decent hour. On my way home I made plans to go to Olive Garden for dinner with Jake and Jenn. Tired, sore, and hungry I stumbled my way up the steps to change clothes real quick.....and was greeted by a hot husband! He had taken it upon himself to do boy chores around the house (cutting the grass, cutting down some brush and limbs, getting rid of carpenter bees and ants) AND he went without my asking to get his hair cut AND he bought a nice shirt to go out in. I was super impressed since i've never seen him buy clothes (especially nice ones) without my making him. We had an awesome dinner and then he gave me a massage when we got home since i was so achy. Here's a cell phone pic of Super-Jake although it doesn't do him justice.